Summit Counselling Services — Modality
Gottman Couples TherapyMost relationship problems aren't about not loving each other enough. They're about not having the right tools.
The Gottman Method is the most extensively researched approach to couples therapy available — built on over 40 years of relationship science. Our trained therapists use it to help couples improve communication, manage conflict, and rebuild the connection that brought them together.
The Research
Gottman Therapy is backed by over 40 years of relationship science.
What Is the Gottman Method?
Relationship science, not relationship advice — there's a difference.
The Gottman Method was developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman after decades of observational research on couples — in which they studied how partners actually interact, communicate, and repair after conflict. What emerged was not a set of commonsense tips but a scientifically derived framework for understanding what separates relationships that thrive from those that deteriorate.
One of the most striking findings from Gottman's research is that it's not the presence of conflict that predicts relationship failure — it's how conflict is handled. Couples in lasting, satisfying relationships fight too. What they do differently is how they repair, how they approach disagreement, and how much positive connection they maintain in ordinary daily life.
Gottman Therapy equips couples with practical tools grounded in this research — improving communication, building conflict management skills, deepening friendship and intimacy, and creating shared meaning. Sessions are structured and skill-focused, with clear progress markers and specific practices to use between appointments.
Our therapists trained in the Gottman Method bring this framework to couples in a warm, non-judgemental space — helping both partners feel heard rather than evaluated, and working toward the relationship both want rather than assigning blame for the one they have.
"The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together." — Dr. John Gottman
What brings couples to Gottman Therapy
- Communication that has broken down or goes in unproductive circles
- Conflict that escalates quickly or leaves both partners feeling unheard
- A growing sense of emotional distance or disconnection
- Difficulty recovering after an affair, betrayal, or significant breach of trust
- Recurring arguments about the same issues without resolution
- One or both partners feeling criticized, contempt, or stonewalled
- A major life transition — a baby, a move, a career change — straining the relationship
- Parenting disagreements or co-parenting conflict
- Feeling more like roommates than partners
- Loss of intimacy, affection, or physical connection
- Wanting to strengthen an already-good relationship before problems develop
- Navigating differing values, backgrounds, or family expectations
The Gottman Framework
The Sound Relationship House — what Gottman Therapy builds
Gottman's research identified the specific elements that healthy relationships are built on. Therapy works on each of these systematically, in order.
Build Love Maps
Knowing your partner's inner world — their hopes, dreams, worries, and history. Couples who know each other deeply are far more resilient when hard times arrive. Gottman Therapy begins by mapping what you know and don't know about each other.
Share Fondness & Admiration
Actively expressing appreciation, respect, and affection — not assuming your partner knows you value them. The antidote to contempt, which Gottman identifies as one of the most destructive forces in relationships.
Turn Towards
Responding to your partner's "bids for connection" — the small, everyday moments when they reach out for attention, interest, or support. Gottman's research found that couples in stable relationships turn towards each other far more consistently than those who eventually separate.
The Positive Perspective
Maintaining a generally positive view of your partner and your relationship — so that when conflict arises, it doesn't poison everything. A positive sentiment override allows couples to give each other the benefit of the doubt and recover more quickly from disagreement.
Manage Conflict
Learning to navigate disagreement without the Four Horsemen — to de-escalate when things get heated, to repair after arguments, and to accept influence from your partner. Not eliminating conflict, but handling it in ways that don't damage the relationship.
Make Life Dreams Come True & Create Shared Meaning
Supporting each other's life goals and building rituals, traditions, and symbols that give the relationship its own culture and depth. Couples who share meaning and support each other's dreams sustain connection across decades.
What Gottman Therapy Addresses
The Four Horsemen — and their antidotes
Gottman's research identified four communication patterns that, when present consistently, predict relationship breakdown. Each has a specific antidote — and Gottman Therapy teaches both.
Criticism
Antidote: Gentle Start-UpAttacking your partner's character rather than raising a specific concern. "You never think about how your actions affect me" vs. "I felt hurt when you didn't call." Criticism is pervasive and leads directly to the other horsemen.
Contempt
Antidote: Build FondnessTreating your partner with disrespect, mockery, sarcasm, or disgust — communicating superiority. Contempt is the single strongest predictor of relationship breakdown Gottman identified. It cannot coexist with a healthy relationship.
Defensiveness
Antidote: Take ResponsibilityResponding to concern with counter-attack or victim stance — deflecting rather than hearing. Defensiveness tells your partner their concern isn't valid and escalates rather than resolves conflict.
Stonewalling
Antidote: Physiological Self-SoothingWithdrawing entirely — shutting down, going silent, leaving the conversation. Usually a response to emotional flooding. Stonewalling prevents any possibility of repair and leaves the other partner feeling abandoned.
The Small Moments
Relationships aren't built in the big moments. They're built in the small ones.
One of Gottman's most powerful findings is that what determines the health of a relationship isn't how couples handle their biggest conflicts — it's how they handle the thousands of small, ordinary interactions that make up daily life. The bid for connection at the dinner table. The moment of reaching out before bed. The way a partner responds when you share something that excited you.
Couples who turn toward each other in these small moments build what Gottman calls an "emotional bank account" — a reservoir of goodwill and connection that they can draw on when things get hard. Couples who consistently miss or dismiss these bids deplete that account until conflict, distance, or disconnection fills the gap.
Gottman Therapy works on both levels — the conflict management and communication skills that help couples navigate the hard conversations, and the everyday patterns of connection and friendship that make a relationship feel like a place worth being. Both matter. Both are addressable.
What Gottman Therapy Helps With
Gottman Therapy works across a wide range of relationship concerns
Whether you're in crisis or simply want to strengthen what you have, the Gottman Method offers a structured, evidence-based path forward.
Communication Breakdown
When conversations consistently go sideways — ending in hurt, frustration, or silence rather than understanding. Gottman Therapy builds the specific skills for raising concerns gently, listening without defensiveness, and repairing after things go wrong.
Rebuilding After Betrayal
Infidelity, significant breaches of trust, and betrayal trauma require careful, structured repair — not just apology. Gottman Therapy provides a framework for rebuilding trust, processing the impact of what happened, and deciding together what comes next. See also our betrayal trauma page.
Emotional Distance
When you've become more like roommates than partners — when warmth, affection, and genuine interest in each other has faded. Gottman Therapy rebuilds the friendship and intimacy layer of the relationship that sustains long-term connection.
Recurring Conflict
The arguments that go in the same circles without resolution — about money, parenting, in-laws, sex, or division of responsibilities. Gottman distinguishes between solvable problems and "perpetual problems" (rooted in fundamental differences) and teaches different skills for each.
Major Life Transitions
A new baby, a career change, a move, retirement, a loss — transitions that disrupt the relationship equilibrium and introduce new stressors before couples have found new patterns. Gottman Therapy helps couples navigate change without losing each other in it.
Relationship Enrichment
Not every couple comes in crisis. Some want to strengthen an already-good relationship, prepare for a major commitment, or develop the tools to handle future challenges well before they arrive. Gottman Therapy is equally valuable as a preventative investment.
Book a Session
Gottman-trained therapists in Edmonton, St. Albert & Windermere
Gottman Couples Therapy is available in person at all three Summit locations, and virtually for couples anywhere in Alberta — including when partners are in different locations.
Wîhkwêntôwin ᐄᐧᐦᑫᐧᐣᑑᐃᐧᐣ (Oliver)
Grandin Plaza, 2nd Floor
Edmonton, AB
Common Questions
Gottman Couples Therapy — your questions answered
Our Therapists
Summit therapists trained in the Gottman Method
The clinicians below have training in Gottman Couples Therapy. Therapist fit matters enormously in couples work — we recommend starting with a free 15-minute consultation to find the right match for both of you.
Related Support
Other areas we work with
The relationship you want is worth working for. Let's build it together.
Your first consultation is free — no commitment, no pressure. A brief conversation about where you are and whether Gottman Therapy is the right fit for both of you.
We acknowledge that our practice is located in Treaty 6 territory, on the traditional lands of the Cree, Saulteaux, Niitsitapi (Blackfoot), Métis, and Nakota Sioux Peoples, including our Brewery District office in Wîhkwêntôwin ᐄᐧᐦᑫᐧᐣᑑᐃᐧᐣ (Oliver). We recognize that healing and reconciliation is a responsibility shared by all.
Summit Counselling Services is a counselling practice operating our of Edmonton and St. Albert. We provide clinical services to children, adolescents, adults, seniors, couples, and families. We have a talented team of Edmonton psychologists, therapists and counsellors with a wide range of specializations and trainings at Summit Counselling Services who would be honoured to walk beside you on your journey. At Summit, we believe in therapy your way. Our goal is to customize your psychotherapy and counselling sessions to best suit your needs. We believe in the differences and unique perspectives each person brings to therapy and incorporate these into our work with you.